Checkmate, Bunghole!
by 5olstice
Summary: It seems that the dynamic duo of the 90s have finally met their match. Now they gotta deal with stuff their idiotic selves don't know much about. R&R, and yes there are unfamiliar characters in here. Rated T for... well, this is Beavis & Butthead :P
1. What Similarities They Have

Chapter One: What Similarities They Have

**I'm writing yet another cartoon fanfic. IDK why, I'm just bored as hell right now. I'm just glad Beavis and Butthead came back on the air. Please R&R ^.^ **

**Disclaimer: Beavis and Butthead belong to Mike Judge**

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><p>It was another day in Highland, Texas. A simple suburb in the town holds a beat up gray house. Inside houses two teenagers, stupid teenagers to be exact. They were sitting on an old couch in a position that seems like it's been in that position for about 18 years. On the left was a brown haired teenager named Butthead. He had braces, a gray ACDC T-shirt, and red shorts. On the right was a blonde haired teenager named Beavis. He had a severe under-bite, a blue Metallica T-shirt, and gray shorts.

The two just watched TV and made their usual comments. "Ya know Butthead, why is it that they have re-runs of Jackass but none of Viva la Bam? Hm Hm heh!" said Beavis.

"Eh, I don't know Beavis. Huh huh huh. Probably 'cuz one of the guys died on there. And, you know, they wanted to show their respects or something," replied Butthead.

"Hm Hmph, oh yeah. Was that the guy that got raped by that toy car?"

"I don't know, butt munch. It's probably Pontius. Serves him right for waving his schlong around. Uh huh huh huh uh."

Outside, two other teenagers in black hoodies were spray painting the front of the house. "Are sure we should be doing this?" One of them asked.

"Damn right we should Sarah!" said the other one. "They deserve revenge after bad mouthing our beliefs."

"Saying Green Day and Megadeth aren't all that great isn't exactly a racial slur." Sarah crossed her arms.

The other girl grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? They disrespected us! Don't go all Beavis on me! **GOT IT?**"

She let Sarah go. "Y-y-yeah. I get it Jenny." The two girls finished spray painting the house when the two boys walked outside.

"WHAT THE HELL? GET OFF OUR PROPERTY! Hmm Hm Hmph Heh!" yelled Beavis. He shook his fist while he tried to chase the hooded ones. They ran off when Butthead threw cans at them. "Eh, yeah you damn kids! Uh huh huh. Get out of our lawn before we call the cops."

The girls ran off with the bag of cans of spray paint they had. Beavis and Butthead looked at the front of the house that was spray painted. "You know Beavis, it's actually kinda good. Even though there's a bunch of naked men painted on our house."

"You're right. But what does that writing say? 'N-nudist Gay B-br-oth-el.' Hmph hm."

Butthead walked closer to the new art. "Huh huh. I don't know. Those butt wipes were probably trying to say that we're queer." Beavis looked at a painted corner by the window. In blue writing it read 'Megadeth lives on and Green Day is immortal=BOTH ROCK! Take that Communist Dutchland!'

"Hm heh! This sounds familiar Butthead."

"Just shut up and quit being a dumbass. They were just two pricks jealous of our awesomeness and that's that. Uh huh huh huh. Huh huh huh." He starts flexing his arm muscles. Beavis follows the idea and does lunges.

In the distance, a black SUV filled with nude homosexual men drove down the road. One of them spotted the spray painted house thinking it was their Brothel. "Look, it is like, our new home!"

They all applauded and hugged each other. "I see the two brothel leaders are outside waiting for our presence."

The SUV drove up to the driveway and all the men got out and stretched. Butthead turned around from arguing with Beavis and went wide-eyed. "Woah! Check it out Beavis. Uh huh huh. There's like, a bunch of faggots doing those aero-bobics or whatever."

"Hm, what?" Beavis looked over and got blinded by the raunchy appearance from the brothel men's birthday suits. He fell on the grass and rolled around covering his eyes. "AAAUUUUUUUUUGH! IT BURNS BUTTHEAD, MAKE THEM STOP! Hmm hmph."

Butthead looked down at his friend. "Eh, whatever. If it'll make you stop acting like a wussy," he said in his lispy voice.

He walked over to the stark naked men. "Uhhh, could you dudes like, but some clothes on and beat it? You're like, scaring the neighbors. Uh huh huh uh. Huh heh."

The supposed leader of the group stepped forward. "Yes, we should beat it. BROTHERS!" On that command they all started running into the house. Two of them grabbed the adolescent duo and ran inside with them with the door closing and locking.

"BUTTHEAD! I DON'T WANNA SCORE LIKE THIS! Hmm hmp."

"JUST KEEP YOUR WHITE DRAGON CONCEALED!"

Down the street were two teenage girls laughing their butts off while sitting on the grass. "HA,HAHAHAHA! I-I-I think that that was the b-best REVENGE EVAH! HAHAHA!"

"YOU'RE RIGHT! I can't think of a better way to spend our Sundays. Just think Sarah, tomorrow at school, Bitchface and Shaftless will come in with their rectums completely torn up. They'll be so traumatized, they're have to move into an asylum! MWUAHAHAHA!" Jenny gave off a grimacing smile, which revealed her braces. "Heheheh. Just thinking of that makes me happy!" She pushed her brunette bangs off her face.

Sarah got curious. "Hmm, but don't ya think that's too devious? I mean, I know what we did is right. But I have doubts."

Jenny pushed her friend. "Ah, shut up. Don't make me set your teeth any more crooked than they are. Heh, I said 'rectum' earlier."

"Your such a pervert."

"I know right?"

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><p><span>Highland High School, Van Driessen's classroom<span>

Mr. Van Driessen walked into the classroom on time as usual. Everyone else was seated except for the two empty seats in the back. "Good morning my students, how is everyone?" The class was silent. A blonde girl in her desk fell onto the floor from sleeping. She woke up when she hit her head. "I'M UP! I GOT MY PANTS ON!"

Jenny pinched her eyebrows. "Dammit Sarah, way to be a dumb butt again, but oh well. You're still my friend."

Mr. Van Driessen took out a roll call on a clipboard. "M'kay, we're gonna roll now." He called out the first few names then he went to the B's.

"Beavis?"

No answer.

"Beavis? Are you asleep again?"

No answer.

"Is Beavis here?"

Sarah and a few other students looked behind them—two empty seats were all that was there. Jenny was too busy snickering while doodling in her Biology notebook.

"Well, if Beavis isn't he—"

"—Hold your fire Van Driessen, we're here. Huh huh huh," Butthead said when he and his blonde friend walked inside and sat down in their desks.

Both of their eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. Butthead had a few bruises and Beavis's hair was all messed up, plus a line of blood dripping down from his arm. They acted as though there wasn't any pain and they just chuckled and grunted like they normally did.

Van Driessen continued with the roll call. "Kimberly,"

"Here."

"Jackson,"

"YO!"

"Jenny,"

"Present." She didn't even look up from her notebook.

"Lee….."

Butthead looked over to Beavis. "Hey, buttwipe. I think I know who did that to our house yesterday, huh huh."

"Hmp, really? 'Cuz I wanna keep revenge on those two who did that our house. Which made those gay guys beat the crap out of us, throw us in an old closet, then they had gay sex and SPANKED THEIR MONKEYS ON EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE! HMPH HMPH HEH!"

"Shut up Beavis!" Butthead punched him in the shoulder. "Uh huh, butt wipe, uh huh huh huh. Now look, it took the best of my knowledge, and you know it hurts to think. But the pricks that sprayed our house had to have been wearing Megadeth and Green Day shirts."

"Hmmm…. oh yeah! That makes more sense. Hold on, I got an itch." Beavis threw an eraser at the back of the blonde girl sitting in front of him. "Hey, ya got a pencil? Hmp hmph. My nose itches…."

The blonde girl wearing a white shirt with short green sleeves turned around. The front of her shirt had the name 'Green Day' on it in block letters. "Tch, yeah. But you can't have…. it." Sarah realized it was Beavis sitting behind her and she started giggling when she remembered the event from 24 hours ago. "Pfft ft ffft…. c-can't you u-u-use your finger?...HAHAHAHA!" Sarah threw her head down laughing and banged her fist on the desk.

"You know, that wasn't a really good joke, hmp. I don't understand Green Day either," said Beavis.

Mr. Van Driessen turned around from the blackboard teaching. "Um, is there a problem Miss Sarah?" He asked in his soft, hippy voice.

Sarah was too preoccupied from laughing so much Jenny (who sat to the right of Sarah) had to say something to keep her friend from getting sent to McVicker's office. She raised her hand to speak.

"Yes Jenny?"

"It's 'cuz _some people _are trying to make sexual advances toward us females again," Jenny said jokingly.

"I've reminded you and the rest of the class. Beavis and Butthead just need to be ignored, if they are then they will learn to behave better and prosper into the young gentlemen they will become."

"*sighs* Whatever you say Van D."

The boys in the back of the class enjoyed their little show. Both Beavis and Butthead were wide-eyed and had huge grins plastered on their faces.

"Eh, did you see what I saw Beavis? Huh Huh, I got to see boob, well, side boob. Uh huh huh huh."

"Hmm, really?"

"Uh, yeah. When that Jenny girl raised her hand, I saw the inside her sleeve, and I like, saw part of her chest. Also, she said 'sexual'. Huh huh huh." Butthead almost got a stiffy replaying the image in his head. Yet it was hard for him to picture her without her grayish-blackish shirt on. "But dammit, I could've seen more if that word 'eth' wasn't on her shirt."

Beavis was happy enough with his little show. "Hmph, you didn't see what I got. Hm hm hmph! When the Sarah chick was laughing her butt off about something, I got to see her boobs shaking. That's a lot better than what you got, dill weed. Hm hmp!" Beavis shook his fists at the thought. "BOIOIOIOIOIOIOING!"

"Uhhh, oh yeah. That does seem better, huh huh. You wanna make 'em flash us?" Butthead asked.

"Eh, sounds cool."

Beavis threw another eraser at Sarah and Butthead popped Jenny's bra strap. Both girls turned around angrily. **"WHAT?"** They both yelled.

"Eh, hey babes. Heh heh heh," Butthead tried his usual suave term.

"Hi," Beavis simply said.

"So, uh, we were like wondering if you could…. expose your mammary flesh to the both of us? Eh heh heh heh."

*SMACK-SMACK* Sarah slapped both the boys across their faces. "How, DARE YOU ASK US THAT!"

"YEAH! AFTER WE THOUGHT YOU GOT ENOUGH REVENGE!" yelled Jenny.

As Beavis and Butthead were both rubbing their faces, they actually tried to look at the girls again. But instead, they read what was on their shirts. On Jenny's it had 'Megadeth' in somewhat shiny yellow letters, and on Sarah's it had 'Green Day' in crumbing letters with the 'R' X-ed out.'

In the boys' minds, two matchboxes were being struck trying to light a fire. Two minutes later the last of the matches were finally lit which meant that they realized something. "YOU'RE THE PRICKS THAT DESTROYED OUR HOUSE WITH SPRAY PAINT AND SEMEN!" Beavis yelled.

"Spray paint yes, semen...that's your problem." Jenny winked and stuck her hand out like it was a gun. "But damn straight."

"Eh, you know your friend didn't have to slap us. Huh huh," said Butthead.

"You know you and _your_ friend don't have to act like annoying fart knockers all the time!"

Butthead raised an eyebrow. "Touché. You know, it kicks ass that you two are into actual music."

Sarah frowned. "If you're trying to sweet talk us, it ain't working." She turned back around and went back to sleep, but Jenny still talked with them. "Look, I don't know what the hell you dorks want with us, but lay off, or you're gonna regret it."

Beavis snickered. "Lay off of what exactly? Mhhm hmph hmp!"

"UUUGHH!" She facepalmed. Jenny didn't turn back around because she was frustrated of how much more those guys had their minds below the waist then she did. Then again guys were guys.

Butthead turned to his blonde sidekick. "Hey dillweed. At least I know how to talk to chicks. If anything, I'm gonna score with both girls than you can with one of them passed out and dead. Uh huh huh huh heh."

Jenny lifted up her head. Clearly she was pissed off right now. She slapped both Butthead and Beavis across the face just as her best friend did it earlier, but with her left hand, since Jenny _is_ left-handed. "HMPH!"

She turned back around to listen to more of Van Driessen's speech on DNA. "You can clearly see the double helix shape in the DNA and…."

The idiot boys rubbed the left sides of their faces now. "You know Butthead, when I dream of women putting their hands on me, I didn't have this in mind."

"Don't worry, Beavis. A woman's hand is still a woman's hand. That's counts as touching for me, huh huh huh. Somehow we're gonna get chicks, even if it means pain. Plus we're also gonna get our revenge on their revenge."

"So, it'll re-revenge, or just venge?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. Uh huh, probably 'rahvenge. That sounds more kickass."

"Mmh hmp hmph! You make a point there Butthead."

The two kept chuckling in their annoying ways while everyone else was asleep or trying hard to pay attention to Van Driessen's drabble about Deoxyribonucleic Acid.

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><p><strong>I have some confidence in this fanfic. I'm not gonna be writing for a while 'till after Christmas break XP I'm really glad that B&amp;B came back on, even though I haven't seen it since I was like, one and a half. <strong>

**Jenny and Sarah belong to me, the rest belong to the Easter Bunny! ****I still want reviews! FYI on Regular Teen (My other story) re-read the whole story, I've revised it :3.**

**Another thing, I stayed up 'til MIDNIGHT TYPING THIS UP! SO YOU PRICKS BETTER BE HAPPY! D^:**

**Anyway, I'm IceCat19 & I'm wishing you all a Merry Christmas! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR IN YOUR BUNGHOLE!**


	2. The Rahvenge

**Hey…. IceCat19 again. I'm writing yet another chapter of meh Beavis and Butthead. I find it kinda sad that they don't have that many B&B OCs, whether or not their Mary-Sues. But that's changing right now! R&R :D**

**Disclaimer: Beavis and Butthead belong to Mike Judge**

**Jenny and Sarah belong to me!**

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><p><span>Sarah's House<span>

The two girls were going about their business as semi-normal teenagers do on a Friday afternoon. Sarah plopped down on the couch in her living room with a bag of Oreo's while Jenny made a house of cards on the floor. The TV in front of them had on a segment of Ed Edd n Eddy.

"Hey Jen, why is it that they just don't get allowances like everyone else?" asked Sarah.

The brunette was concentrated with her cards but she was listening. "I don't know. I've always wondered that though. Maybe they're so bad that they don't get them or whatever. If I were there, I'd just give Eddy a jawbreaker just so he won't hurt himself."

"True, so true. You think they know what Slayer and Train are?"

"I don't know. This show's from like, the damn 70s or something. They listen to Tom Jones and have 67 cents for 5 gallons of gas."

Jenny walked into the kitchen to get some Cola. Outside by the front door, Beavis and Butthead were up to no good as usual. Beavis carried a ladder and gloves. "Are you sure we should be doing this, Hmph heh?"

"Have I ever steered you wrong Beavis? Huh huh huh. Eh, now when I ring the doorbell, you run to the side of the house and get the goods," said Butthead.

"Hmm hm, ok. Let the rah-venge, begin!"

Beavis positioned himself by one of the front windows. When Butthead rang the doorbell, he ran and hid in the bushes. That was the blonde headed one's cue to go to the side of the house. Beavis put the ladder up by an open window and climbed up until he got inside the master bedroom of the house. Outside, Sarah opened the door to someone she thought was coming. When she saw no one was there, Sarah shrugged her shoulders and went back inside.

In the upstairs, Beavis rummaged around in every drawer until he went into the closet. He turned on the light and his eyes widened. He was surrounded by a plethora of skimpy costumes and intimates. Beavis was shaking and speaking in gibberish from this overwhelming moment; he also got a stiffy.

Beavis went to the back which had a leopard skin thong in a glass case on the wall. There was an inscription on the bottom that said: "Boobs and Bros Strip Club. Little Kitty—Best Stripper 1992"

"Hhm….boioioing! This is it! Man, if only Butthead saw this he would think this rocks, hmph heh!" Beavis took off the case and grabbed the thong. He got outta the closet and was about to leave until he saw a blue bra hanging off the banister. "Woah cool! A prize for me, hmph hm hmp." He ran out of the room to grab the bra then Beavis went back and climbed down the ladder to the outside.

He folded up the ladder and walked to the front to get his friend. "Hey Butthead, I got what you said. Can we go now? Hmph heh."

"Eh, yeah whatever. But I get to hold the merchandise. Uh huh huh." He snatched the thong outta Beavis's hands without knowing his friend already had something for himself. They walked back to their grunting and chuckling like they normally do. Beavis and Butthead laughed even louder when they heard two girls scream from inside the house.

In the middle of Highland, Jenny and Sarah were sitting by an old building. The blonde one of the two was really depressed. "I don't know what I'm gonna do Jen. Mom and Bob are gonna kill me when they figure out what happened with the lucky thong!" Sarah buried her face in her knees. Jenny tried to comfort her. "Um, I'm not good at this kind of crap but... it's gonna be ok. I guess? Anyway it can't be that bad."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! THAT'S WHAT MOM AND BOB BASED THEIR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP ON! THAT'S HOW THEY FIRST MET; WITHOUT THE THONG OUR FAMILY'S DONE FOR!" Sarah started crying. When tears went down her cheek, Jenny went paranoid for a minute.

_"God what do I do? I don't know how the hell to comfort a person!"_ "Uhhhhhh, look! A hooker, heh heh." Sarah looked up with her blurred vision and saw a scantily clad anorexic in a pink dress smoking a joint. "Hmph, you think she has every single disease known to man? It looks like she doesn't have meat on her bones."

"Heh, you said 'man', then 'meat'."

"Quit being so pervy!" Sarah pushed her friend over while she laughed.

The girls got up and walked back to the better side of town. When Sarah and Jenny got there, they saw a small blonde chubby boy with a T-shirt on that said "Winger". "Hey Sarah and Jenny," said the boy.

"Hey uh... George?"

"It's Stewart, Jenny. You know, Stewart Stevenson?"

"Eh, oh yeah."

Sarah patted his head. "What's up small fry?"

"You won't believe it! I saw Beavis and Butthead do the craziest thing ever. They were walking around town with a pair of ladies underwear."

Sarah and Jenny looked at each other. "Beavis's mom is outta town again," they both said simultaneously. They looked back at Stewart. "Weird, I always thought Beavis's mom wore solid colors. Didn't know she switched to the leopard style."

The girls laughed but then went wide eyed. "LEOPARD?" Jenny shook Stewart. "Stu, was the ladies underwear a thong perhaps?"

"I don't know what a thong is. All I know is that the undies were a lot smaller than a normal pair. One side looked normal and the other was like a string. Someone must've gotten a really bad wedgie."

The girls ran past the boy causing him to spin around. "THANK YOU STEWIE!"

"It's Stewart!"

Sarah and Jenny ran to where they thought the perverted adolescents would be—looking into a lingerie store window. Sure enough, Beavis and Butthead where there giggling while looking at the mannequins. They didn't have their ladder anymore. Butthead wore the thong on his head like a hat and Beavis had the blue bra hidden in his pocket.

Sarah saw the thong and a pang in her chest hit her. Then rage flowed through her shortly afterward. She marched over to Butthead tapped him on the shoulder; he turned around. "Eh, hey baby. It's you again, uh huh huh huh. So, wadda ya want?"

The blonde girl grabbed Butthead by the shirt collar and picked him up. **"LISTEN YOU LITTLE DINGLEBERRY, GIVE—ME—BACK—THAT—THONG!"** Sarah's nostrils were flaring and she had demonic hatred in her eyes. Butthead seemed really scared. "Uh, I don't have it! Here you go Beavis!" He took off the thong and threw it at his friend.

Sarah cracked her neck and turned to Beavis. She let go of Butthead and tackled Beavis. He was screaming in agony when Sarah sat on him and pulled his arm into a chicken wing position. "UNCLE! UNCLE, hmph heh!" Jenny and Butthead watched their friends tussle.

"Sarah's definitely gonna win. Her brother's like, a professional wrestler."

"Eh, in your dreams. If anything my dumbass friend's gonna win. He ain't afraid to fight girls."

"But yet he's afraid to win."

"Uh huh huh, shut up, Shewolf."

Jenny punched Butthead on the shoulder. She looked back at her friend when she got the thong. Sarah finished it off by leaving a Converse-shaped whelp on Beavis's forehead. He got up a minute later holding his forehead in pain. "Maybe next time you'll think twice before stealing someone's undergarments." Jenny pointed at Butthead.

"Eh, we didn't take your dirty panties, huh huh huh. That's why we took your friend's mom's."

Sarah crossed her arms. "You get props when one of your parents were one of the best strippers in Texas, especially when it's the male of the family."

"WHAT?"

"Oh, and by the way, that was Sarah's dad's dirty thong you were obsessed about."

"AAAAUUUUUGGGHHH, SICK!" Beavis and Butthead were gagging and trying to wipe their faces on the concrete. The blonde one threw up a little and Butthead was screaming and babbling gibberish. Sarah was smirking with satisfaction and Jenny was as happy as ever.

"AHHAHAHA! I made it rain, I made it rain, I made it rain on them boys!" She sang with victory.

The boys got up trying to shake off what just happened. Butthead was actually a little mad. "You bitches. You two aren't like other girls, that's for sure, huh huh huh. Although me and Beavis dislike you—"

"—well I don't hate 'em, hmph hm."

"Shut up, dumbass!" Butthead slapped Beavis on the back of the head. "We actually kind of respect you. As proper gentlemen, we call a truce, eh heh heh huh, heh heh." Butthead extended his hand for a handshake. Jenny took his hand and just shoved it back to him. "As proper ladies, we'll call a damn truce whenever we want to, understand?"

"Eh, whatever you want baby. Eh huh huh huh."

*facepalm* "Look buttmunch, I ain't no 'baby'. Trust me, you don't wanna mess with me or you're gonna have your nuts ripped off and shoved into your mouth!"

"...If you're trying to scare me, it won't work. I'm bullet-proof." Butthead pounded his chest with pride.

"Ugh, come on Jenny. Let's get the heck out of here before we catch their stupidity," said Sarah. "It wasn't a pleasure seeing you dillholes again." She fake smiled showing off her under bite. Sarah folded up the thong and left with Jenny right behind her holding up a 'rock on' sign.

Beavis and Butthead dusted themselves off. Butthead's shirt was only messed up and Beavis had a few bruises on his face. They walked off in the opposite direction.

"Uh, hey Beavis, uh huh huh huh. Wanna go TP McVickers house?"

"Mh heh, oh yeah, whatever."

Butthead walked ahead and Beavis stayed behind for a minute. He took out the blue bra from his back pocket and rubbed it on his face. "Hm heh hmp! Ohohohoho yeah... this is the bra, of an angel. I'm gonna score with her, I just know it!"

Butthead called back to him. "HEY BEAVIS! You coming, dumbass?"

Beavis folded up the bra and put it back in his pants then ran back to his best friend.

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><p><strong>DDDDAAAAAAAAAWWWWW! Little Beavis has an itty bitty cwush. How pwecious!<strong>

**Beavis: Hm hmp, I wouldn't call it itty bitty.**

**IceCat: If you do, I'll let you meet Dave Mustaine and you can make out with Sarah later.**

**Sarah: Wait…. WHAT?**

**Beavis: Hmm hmp heh. I like that.**

**Jenny: WOAH! YOU KNOW DAVE? PLEEZE LEMME SEE HIM!**

**IceCat: Hmm…. Ok. Only cuz I'm feeling f*ckin generous & it's New Years. This is yet another chapter that I've stayed up 'till midnight writing...AGAIN! DAVE!**

**Dave: Wassup guys?**

**Butthead: Woah, this kicks ass….**

**Dave: Look, can we make this short? It's obvious IceCat needs room for a disclaimer and sh*t. So let her do that!**

**IceCat: Thank you! Now, the fartknockers you saw belong to Mike Judge. Jenny and Sarah are meh brain children. Dave belongs to himself since he's awesome like that**

**Dave: DAMN RIGHT I AM!**

**I, J, S, Be, Bu, D: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOUR BUNGHOLES!**

**This is IceCat19 saying hope to see all of you next year! :D **


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